November 12, 2010

Handling Life on Your Own

Posted in Divorce tagged at 10:36 am by demetriagraves

You’ve gone through a Divorce and the papers have been signed, custody has been decided, the assets have been divided and all that stress and strain is now behind you. It should be a great relief to have these difficult and emotionally draining parts of your divorce done with. Though for many recently divorcees it may feel like the worst is yet to come.

It’s not uncommon for recently divorced men and women to have to deal with feelings of loneliness after all the busywork associated with the legal process of divorce is done. For most people divorce enables them to make a fresh start and it’s important to focus on the positives rather than the negatives but many people who have recently divorced need to start thinking about how they will handle their new life on their own. While loneliness is a perfectly normal reaction after a divorce, there are some things you can do to help you cope.

First of all, try not to let yourself become isolated. Instead, surround yourself with a support system. Call up one or more trusted friends or family members. You may even ask if you can stay at a friend’s place. Seek out a divorce support group in your city. If there’s not one, try starting an informal one yourself to glean support from others dealing with the aftermath of divorce.

It’s also important to spend time being around people. Go to lunch with your co-workers. Attend functions you are invited to, even if you’re not feeling particularly festive. If you are religious, attend services at a local place of worship. Volunteer with a non-profit organization. The key is not to allow yourself an unhealthy amount of time alone to brood over being alone.

Keeping yourself busy can help you get on with creating your new life. Now is the perfect time to get out and do some of those things that you always wanted to do but never had the chance. While being on your own can be tough many people feel a certain sense of freedom at being able to spend more time focusing on themselves. But be careful not to turn to unhealthy habits, such as drinking or overeating. Use your new found freedom to take up a new hobby or activity you never had time for when you were married. Host a poker night or a group manicure. Go see your favorite band live or do some travel. Be grateful that you are no longer in an unloving, crumbling marriage and you can now grow as an independent person.


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